Monthly Archives: November 2013

Attitude

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Attitude

It’s what’ll make or break my days. My joints ache and exhaust me not only physically but mentally. I’m telling myself to not let it get the best of me, but it’s really, really hard not to break down when I can’t even grip my phone nor hold my toothbrush. I can’t lose to it.

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Yep.

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Yep.

I can be a little bipolar sometimes.

Lately I’ve been losing sleep

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Lately I've been losing sleep

Dreaming about the things that we could be.

No more counting dollars, we’ll be counting stars.

The 20 Things You Need to Let Go to be Happy

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The 20 Things You Need to Let Go to be Happy

Great read. A majority of this list applies to me. 

Take Care

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You always hear this term, but do you take it into consideration whole-heartedly? 

With my joints playing a lot of rough games with me lately, I’ve been going through more mood swings despite surrounding myself with good people and their positive energy. I’ve been eating better for the most part too, but my hands are still killing me at the end of the day. I can’t hold nor support anything with my left hand – not even my phone. Typing is okay for the most part, but writing in lecture hasn’t been the best thing either. 

After visiting my undergrad group of friends this weekend I’ve realized that a lot of us have moved on with our undergrad lives, including me. Yes, I’m still physically here, but I just need to surpass this part of my life even though I am enjoying every last bit of it. It’s the reminder of what was, my poor grades, bad study habits, and the good times have gone. AggieTV is the only thing keeping me sane, but classes haven’t been the best. Maybe it’s the joint pain bringing out more negative energy, but at the end of the day I want to see what’s next. I just registered for classes and figuring out what’s after will be exciting and scary, but I’m ready to see where the rest of my life begins. 

My recent struggles include this joint pain. I really need to take care of myself before I can take care of others. Yet sometimes that’s just not possible. I need to accept the fact that although I’m somewhat improving, this RA may never go away completely. And even though others have faith in me, I’m trying to hold on strong to see if I can use that positive energy to channel it past my negative one. 

It’s me against this joint pain, and I really can’t let it get the best of me.

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