Monthly Archives: April 2014


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Concentration is the game. 

I can’t keep the rhythm. I get so easily distracted and I veer away from what is needed to be done. I tend to procrastinate – not because I’m lazy, but I just can’t get to focusing and putting 100% of my attention to a project until its a day before its deadline, or even hours. 

What’s the secret? How do people do this? I think this is why I didn’t exactly ace undergrad. If I can’t handle this now, how will my mind be able to wrap around 22+ units of pure science in grad school? 

Seriously, I’m just not motivated enough to pay attention or something. I don’t know exactly what a person with ADHD may have symptom-wise, but sometimes I feel like my attention span is very minimal. Especially with all this technology and online things that can easily take my mind away from what needs to be done. 

I don’t blame the Internet, I blame whatever cognitive thing in my mind that’s uncontrollable. I’ve suffered for a long time unable to do accomplish things in a timely manner, and it’s time that’s changed. It sucks a lot of energy from me to study and focus, but I know if I just tried a little harder, just a little bit, then I’m a huge step closer to reaching my goals whether it be short or long-term. 

Now, to get back to what I was doing… 



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What am I going to do for the rest of my life?
What is my life’s passion? 
How am I going to love what I do while doing what I love?

I still don’t know. I’m tired of answering questions. Sometimes I just want to crawl into a little ball in the corner and cry and keep hoping that everything will be okay. 

I don’t know how to not be ‘not okay’…