Monthly Archives: October 2014

Slowly dying…

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Life without my meds is a drag. I’ve been handling it better than a year ago, but having my joints act up are little reminders that I’m still not 100%.

I hate the healthcare system. I need a damn job to get insurance. That’s all I need.

That’s all I want.

It really is hard to be happy when my body’s struggling to get up in the morning.
And I really don’t want to go back to those days.



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I told him when we met that I could be negative sometimes- that I can be insecure at times…

We learned of both our insecurities and yet he’s been able to grow out of his within this past year that mine is just somehow stuck to me.

I think what’s been bothering me the most is that he’s in a good place while I’m stuck here. I have nothing to do or think about but bad thoughts- that this past year isn’t going to matter if he just keeps making more friends and realizes I’m just crummy ol’ me.

It’s really hard not to think negatively when there’s not much positive things going on. I keep questioning our relationship because it just doesn’t seem right lately. He doesn’t know what to do anymore and I don’t think I do either.

Maybe it was too good to be true…