Monthly Archives: December 2014

Too Anxious

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Too anxious to sleep.

Today will be the last time I see him… For a very long time. The uncertainty of our next encounter not only makes me really bummed, but really really unhappy and sad. Same difference…

Agh. My heart still hurts.

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What silver lining.

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It’s tough to think of the bright side when everything you thought you knew completely vanished. Last week was rock bottom for me. I had no one to turn to. I lost my best friend which sucks so bad.

Social media sucked up so much of my life that it damaged us – how attentive I was. I could think back and remember when he stopped caring for me: he’d leave the room and not wait for me, he wouldn’t help me get up like he always did… he didn’t grab me and tell me how much he loved me and how we were gonna know each other for a long time – that was the ‘forever and always’ equivalent. I was too negatively focused on my own problems that I couldn’t realize how much pain and trouble it was causing him. He’s always been a free spirit and I had somehow crushed it.

I regret moving here. Distance made our bond a lot stronger. How ironic that being half an hour away would destroy something so good?

I’ve been better. I won’t be able to forgive myself for this for awhile.

Heartbreak sucks.