Monthly Archives: January 2015

I wanted to go away.

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But now I’m going back? I don’t want to run into things or people that will remind me of the past. I was really hoping to get away from the good memories that turned sour.

I just have to be fortunate and keep hoping for the best.

I gotta trust this thing called timing in my life…



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I can’t help but get engulfed with everything at night. I find good articles, I find good features – time adds up and ticks away.

I’m trying to be better but as I stare at my wrists typing this, the glow of my screen casts a thin, frail shadow that makes up my arms, wrists and hands.

I’m deciding whether or not to make this page public – to share my thoughts with others. I’m not sure how helpful this will be. I like knowing that my words are public but unseen and have a possibility of being discovered. I’ve just lacked tagging posts for some reason – maybe since I wasn’t ready.

I want to document the DIY projects that I’ve done or share some random blurbs that consume my mind on the daily. Maybe post some baking recipes with pics too. I always found it cool to land on countless blogs with these types of content and I think with a great amount of effort, I can share my own ideas to others. I wouldn’t take this on full time but a collection of things I’ve done for myself while sharing it with others will be nothing but useful, right?

Right. Let’s give this another day to decide.

Off to sleep now, I hope.

Thoughts become Things.

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As the job hunt continues, my mind is beginning to filter what is right versus what is wrong for me. Although I used to be pretty picky with the jobs I applied to, I’ve become a lot more open-minded about my abilities to perform such tasks and my experience behind them.

I used to doubt my abilities. When job listing would say something specific that I didn’t know a thing about, I’d give up and move on. I mainly focus on what little do I actually know about some sort of skill and can I grow with that – which has become a yes more recently. Then again, maybe it’s because I’m shifting my search entries; I’ve been looking for opportunities in social media marketing or even content editing. I’m starting to believe that my passion was in journalism and media/ communication all along. I just wish I came to this conclusion sooner. Maybe had I stayed in newspaper and stuck to editing it for my high school… Maybe.

Then again, AggieTV really did its thing for me. I can only say that I wish I learned how to use Adobe Premier during that time and now I’m gonna have to learn that on my own – slowly, but surely. What I’m grateful for, is that this realm of media and communications is mainly based on experience. I guess there’s an advantage to being on social media all the time for once. I think ideally, I’d like to represent someone who engages others no matter what their company is based on – whether or not it’s a bridal blog or magazine versus a start-up company.

I’ve always held my sense of pride for the activities I’ve partaken in and the organizations I’ve been a part of. No matter what, I’m proud – proud of being on cheer (hah), proud of attending UCD for my undergrad, proud that I was able to spend a good year being a Staff Reporter for AggieTV.

This year, I want to start off fresh. I want to make my parents proud and not have to worry about me anymore. 2014 was definitely not my favorite year (now, for certain reasons of course), but I’m not gonna let the negative vibes from the latter half of the year affect me and get the best of me. That’s my weakest spot – letting things get to me and driving me into the ground and beyond that – I’m doing better and I will be better.

I’m gonna be the best me that I possibly can.

It’s just too bad I couldn’t do much then, but this is now. I need to look past the past and move on, bigger and better things are ahead and I know it.

Everything will fall into place.

I’ve got to love myself before I can offer my love towards others.
(But I hope he’s doing well – My future Somebody. I hope he’s healthy and happy and that when that time comes, we’ll meet and shower each other in love and affection – someday).

I’m gonna love myself this year – I’ve got to be selfish and become the best me there’s ever been, RA and everything included.