I just want

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To find my somebody and live happily ever after already…

I’m exhausted of online dating and while it’s a convenience, the repetitive bit of explaining my life story over 50 times to people in the past few years is slowly taking its toll on me.

I activate then I deactivate. My profile is fine and briefs me solidly, I feel, in the six sentences or so I’ve got going on. But even living in a large city now, the matches haven’t been very promising. I think I’ve become better at reading people because I oftentimes get a good sense of how they are before meeting them; it’s not judging per se but like an initial gut reaction. And yet I keep giving them the benefits of my doubts and go for it, yet only one date has come anything close to being something more, and even that is still in a fuzzy, “busy” state of its own…

Sure one match actually led to a relationship, but that story in itself was finicky and non finite from the beginning- I was hesitant and went for it, yet it wasn’t the chemistry and sparks like before him, unfortunately. I wasn’t in love, but it damn sure came close.

And that’s what I yearn for- someone who just clicks and gets me (and us). I felt it before and at least I know it’s possible, so the question still exists (persists?): Where is he? …

The funny, charming, ambitious, yet understanding [and patient] individual that will challenge, learn and grow with me. I don’t think I’m a bad egg despite being ill now, but someone who will have me in this sickness and roll with it because it certainly doesn’t define me and sets me back as an SO altogether…

He’s out there. Maybe I’ve met him… Maybe our timing is just way off. I know it’ll be amazing because I know that everything happens for a reason and that timing is Everything. And when the cards line up and our paths finally cross, it’ll be the best thing I knew I was waiting for all along.


//This was written 10 days ago. Thoughts are still in the same cloud.


About Sendy

I'm Sendy. Trying to figure out my path in life post-undergrad.

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